Nuon Mayourom had just turned 18. She wasn’t ready to get married, but the Khmer Rouge had other ideas.
The Maoist regime controlled all aspects of life in Cambodia, including who you married. She was paired up with Lep Plong, 19. Villager leaders marked the occasion with a rare extravagance – they slaughtered a pig.
Fifty years ago this week, the Khmer Rouge took control of Cambodia, turning the country into a vast agrarian labor camp, with tragic results. A quarter of the population died in just three-and-a-half years.
Anyone deemed an enemy of the government was executed.
And when it came to relationships, the state was also in charge. The government separated families and segregated the population according to age and gender.
Hundreds of thousands of people were forced to wed in joyless ceremonies where the only vows were allegiance to the organization or Angkar, as the Khmer Rouge was known.
Weddings were mass production numbers, with multiple couples, all who had to pledge to produce children for Angkar.
At least in Nuon Mayourom’s case, she knew the groom, Lep Plong, who had been chosen for her. But the timing was definitely not of her choosing.
“Yes, I liked him, and he liked me. I thought he looked like a good person. But I argued with the organization because I wasn’t ready to get married. The organization said, ‘Comrade, you have to marry!’”
Nuon Mayoroum recounted to RFA the details of her wedding. In a time of mass starvation and communal living, there were benefits.
“They slaughtered a pig for us. After the marriage, we moved into a separated hut from others,” she said.
But after three days they were separated once more. Months later they successfully argued to be reunited.
Strangers picking strangers
Dr. Theresa de Langis, director for the Southeast Asian studies at the American University in Phnom Penh, has conducted extensive interviews with Khmer Rouge survivors about forced marriages.
She says while there had been arranged marriages in Cambodia previously, there were a number of very distinct differences under the Maoist regime.
“First, it was strangers picking strangers, generally unknown to each other. Second, the parents were ostracized by the Khmer Rouge. The women I interviewed told me that one of the things they worried about the most at the time was that my parents must have been angry because I had accepted the marriage proposal without their knowledge or consultation. And third, there is evidence that you cannot refuse these marriage proposals,” she said.
When Khieu Samphan, who was head of state under the Khmer Rouge, was sentenced by a special U.N. backed tribunal in Cambodia in December 2022, among the crimes he was convicted for was imposing forced marriages on people. Also charged with genocide and crimes against humanity, he received two life sentences, and remains in prison, aged 93.
De Langis said those who were forced into marriages had often registered their dissatisfaction at the time but were compelled to obey.
“About 70% of the people we interviewed told us that they had refused at least once, but in the end, 97% were forced into marriage because if you continued to refuse to marry, you would be taken to the organization for re-education,” de Langis said.
In Cambodia, ‘re-education’ was associated with punishment, detainment and death.
‘Until today, we were one’
It’s not known how many people were forced to marry, but researchers estimate it could be between 250,000 and 500,000.
“This happened all over the country, so it was a national policy at the time, and many, many people were victims of this crime,” de Langis said.
While Nuon Mayourom married against her will at the time, she and her husband Lep Plong survived life under the Khmer Rouge and made a life together.
They eventually moved to the United States as refugees, bringing their two children – a son, Tola Plong, born in Cambodia, and a daughter, Chenda Plong, born in Thailand.
Lep Plong died in 2010.
“To be honest, he loved me from the beginning. He saw me and loved me. When anyone wanted to propose, he would say, ‘Don’t ask, she already has a fiancé’”.
Did she love him?
“Yes, until today, we were one, one,” Nuon Mayourom said.
Edited by Mat Pennington
